Ever wondered how the digital age is shaping the experiences of our children?
Here are some facts:
- An estimated average of 500 hours of video is uploaded to YouTube every minute
- An estimated 1.3 billion photos is shared per day on Instagram
- Smartphone use at the age of 10-14 is at 83% in India
The above data points show us that children are more exposed to information than ever before thanks to their devices, and they are increasingly looking to their devices to provide all of their social, emotional and recreational needs.
The fact that screens and technology are not only pervasive but necessary is a given in this day and age, but how parents deal with all this is not as obvious.
From online safety concerns to managing screen time and navigating the ever-evolving digital landscape, parents find themselves in an uncharted territory.
While the young parents of today had the last of the truly low-tech childhoods, and now are among the first of the truly high-tech parents, they cannot afford to remain passive spectators as the digital world unfolds. The dynamics of parenting are evolving rapidly and as parents we need to evolve ourselves with it. We should remember that technology is like a tool – its safety and utility depends on how it is used.
We have tried to capture below some traits, habits, ideas that can be cultivated within families and used by parents to ensure that our children take utmost benefit out of the digital world and at the same time ensure their safety.
Be a step ahead of the curve
The first thing parents should do is get up to date with the latest platforms their children are using. This will help parents be aware of what their children are doing online and understand better. Our children should understand that technology is not outside our authority. Some children at present tend to respect their parents’ authority in things such as doing the chores, money matters, etc. What we need to make them understand is that when it comes to technology, we should also have a hand. This will happen only when they respect our domain knowledge and know that it is well within our grasp to understand the related nitty gritties.
Establish communication and trust
“The more walls we build, the more we are just creating little hackers who are just trying to get around the fence,” Devorah Heitner, founder of the website Raising Digital Natives.
Parents, more now than ever before, need to establish communication and trust so that children are able to discuss their autonomous online activities openly. Discuss in-depth with children about online safety, digital footprints, cyber security, etc. These conversations should be frequent and relatable to real-world instances. Ask children if they feel that they have a problem. Children go online to find answers to some of these because they generally feel that no one close to them can help them with these issues or that they cannot trust them. Having empathy, being open and non-judgmental will help make children feel safe in opening up to us and will lead to more productive discussions. It is also very important to keep having these conversations regularly rather than a one-off event.
Encouraging children’s imagination
Technology can be used for consumption or creation. Parents should motivate their children to create useful/ relevant content on digital media which may be helpful for them/ others. This will make screen time effective and also help children better appreciate technology and its relevance in today’s times.
Nurturing relationships amidst screens
Parents should spend time with children to learn what they do online, watch documentaries, movies and play educational games together. Being active with children and spending more time with them will ensure a strong bonding and lay a pathway for free flowing and open discussions with children even on difficult topics.
As much as we love our children, as parents, we should avoid spoon-feeding them or keeping them away from things because of our fear of ‘what ifs’. Parents should focus on making their children self-reliant in all aspects, let them make mistakes, and also own them so that they never repeat them in future.
Balancing screen time with real-life interactions
It is important to remember that technology is not a substitute for face-to-face interaction and hands-on learning. Children need opportunities to engage in physical play, explore their environment, and interact with others in real life.
Create screen-free times and places in home
During activities such as meals, bedtime, family get-togethers, exams, etc, parents can ensure that gadgets are kept away to ensure minimal disruption and quality time. This will bring in an element of discipline and ensure family bonding time is not compromised upon.
In recent times we have often seen parents resorting to technology as an emotional pacifier for their children. In case the child throws a tantrum or goes out of hand, immediately a screen or video game or Youtube is used as a tool by the parent to pacify them. This will become more of a problem in the long run than it will help.
Having reasonable limitations/ guardrails in place
As responsible parents, regularly reviewing and adjusting the settings and controls of the applications our child utilises and monitoring, where appropriate, their digital footprint and identity is crucial.
Similarly, determining appropriate guidelines for children's device usage includes specifying the timing, location, and duration of their screen time. These rules should be realistic and should be made in consultation with the children so that they are equally invested in its adherence.
Social Media & Emotions
The trend of ‘likes’ may create a mental obsession amongst children. It is important to make them understand that their self-worth can not be calculated by likes and shares and retweets. It is also important to discuss with them the nature of social media platforms where one part of life which is happy and glorious is shared with pride whereas the painful times, the moments when we feel lost in life are conveniently hidden. They need to understand what's real and what's edited/ half truth. Once they start doing that, they will stop placing undue importance to social media to determine their self worth.
Tech usage in Schools and how it impacts parents
Schools in Bangalore and especially Schools in Electronic City which is a competitive area have evolved and created a strong digital presence online. Parents who are searching for schools with keywords like ‘school near me’, ‘schools in electronic city’, ‘schools in electronic city phase 1’, ‘best schools in electronic city’, ‘cbse schools in electronic city’, etc. are able to find good schools in electronic city online from the comfort of their homes. Even the admission form of schools can be submitted online now. Earlier, parents had to physically travel to get the admission form of schools.
Along with the admission form of schools, best schools in Electronic City have started using Parent engagement apps or portals, which helps parents to regularly monitor their child’s activities at school.
Good schools in Bangalore have also started using digital tools to teach, and it's important for the parents to back them up at home, with guidance and supervision.
In this regard, CBSE has also issued detailed guidelines for Safe and Effective use of Internet and Digital Technologies in Schools. All good schools in Bangalore including good schools in Electronic City try to adhere to these guidelines
Lead by example
“Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” Robert Fulghum.
Children, when young, pick up a lot of traits, good and bad from their parents. They look up to their parents as icons and hence it’s important for parents to be responsible role models. All checks and balances that we may put in place or ideas that we have discussed above will be ineffective and redundant unless we as parents apply those on ourselves as well. This would include, inter-alia, our behaviour online, the time we spend on social media and other platforms and what we do there.
To sum it up, technology can be thought of like a knife. Just like a knife is a prerequisite item in the kitchen and essential for cooking but requires skill and training for usage, similarly technology is omnipresent today and provides vast opportunity for learning and growth, but it requires skill and responsibility for safe usage.
Parenting in today's tech-driven world means finding the right balance between embracing technology and nurturing our core human values. By teaching our children how to use technology responsibly, think critically, and be empathetic, we can prepare them to thrive in a world where technology is a powerful tool, but human qualities remain the foundation of a successful and fulfilling life.
There is no set parenting formula that may work here for all families. Given the uniqueness of the issue, parents must try out different things with their children to see what method works best for them and then keep evolving and make those methods better with time.
